When Worry Shows Up at Bedtime

Why Anxiety Often Appears at Night

Bedtime can be a challenging time for children experiencing anxiety. When the day's activities wind down and the house grows quiet, worries that were pushed aside during busy hours can surface. The darkness and quiet of nighttime can make children feel more vulnerable, and without the distractions of the day, anxious thoughts can feel louder and more overwhelming.

Three Gentle Steps You Can Try This Week

1. Create a Worry Time Earlier in the Day

Set aside 10-15 minutes earlier in the day (not right before bed) as "worry time." During this time, encourage your child to share any worries or concerns. Write them down together if helpful. This practice helps contain worries to a specific time, making it easier for your child to set them aside at bedtime.

2. Use a Worry Box or Worry Monster

Create a special box or draw a "worry monster" where your child can "put" their worries before bed. They can write or draw their worries and place them in the box, or tell them to the worry monster. This physical act of setting worries aside can help children feel they've addressed their concerns and can now rest.

3. Practice Calm Breathing Together

Before bed, practice slow, calm breathing together. Try "bunny breathing" (three quick sniffs in, one long breath out) or "belly breathing" (placing a hand on the belly and watching it rise and fall). Make it a calm, connecting moment rather than a task to complete. This helps regulate the nervous system and creates a sense of safety and connection.

Remember, these strategies work best when practiced consistently and with patience. Every child is different, and it may take time to find what works best for your family.

By Dr. Cae Soma